Feel it?


tree silhouettes against twilight skies.
that's beauty to me.

gimme some jazz fingers, sugar. jazz fingers dammit!

gummy candy earrings that are totally drop-proof! (tested.)

made another pair of earrings, it's pretty simple. can't decide whether to keep them for my own (so candydandy and big and swingy!) or sell 'em (soo cute, need the $$, got too many earrings, can always make more anyway, but argh, what if no one buys them?) so i havent worn them, only hung them up to ponder over. i've made abt 15 0r so others actually, and since i'm still considering if i want them for my own or to sell them, i can't wear them and they just sit in a huddle in my pretty girl guides cookies tin and resent me for being such a procrastinating greedy pig.

oh yes, i have school to whine about. work to do, project meetings to brainstorm in, research to do, a test tomorrow morning for newswriting to start preparing for, on saturday, for sanity's sake. ah, and then sentosa after that with my ol' school mates and mi:3 after that.

hung out today with F. she be bugging me to bangkok with her in july for crazy girly shopping fun. i am slowly being convinced that it's not that crazy after all. here i thought it was just gonna be one of those things we have fun planning for but never go through doing. $115 for budget return tix to bangkok baby!

dream shorts

i want this pair of Johnson shorts. its not even available in singapore, but i want it baddd. f21 had something similar but it wasn't close enough!

it's a tie!

i was watching amazing race an hour or so earlier because my azurus is down, probably because it's had enough of me trying to be a tech geek and meddling with its settings. the guy in the help chatroom gave up on me too. anyway, this guy in the amazing race was wearing this tee. i thought when i saw it online a couple of months back that it'd look damn nice. but it only made him look really gay and corny!

im rambling. let's end with a pic from way back.

just like a family portrait.

my eyes look washed out cos i thought grey contacts were cool and all vampy goth a few months back. now i know better, its only washedout chic. heheh.

movie credits

movie credits.

i feel uneasy and shaken by how volatile my feelings are.
i should be above this.
it was merely a...
i shouldn't be so overwrought, so vehement and sadistic..
but it burns. how it burns, burns, burns.
it could have been more heaven then a heart can hold.
there's so much i wish i said. how cliche.
oh, how far i've fallen, from the jade the exhe called me once. but that's neither here nor there.

it's to be a lonely night ahead for me. good.
it's so inexplicable sometimes...
sometimes.. i can't name what i'm brooding over.
but sometimes..
sometimes, there's so much that is wrong,
that shouldn't be wrong, wouldn't have been wrong,
can not help but be wrong..

it helps to flush some of that toxicity out by scratching your heart out in a real journal,
a primitive mindnumbing joy of stream of consciousness that blends ink and furious energy on that flimsy, flighty, happy medium, paper.
yes it does.
but sometimes it isn't enough.
so here i am.

it has to be admitted,
abeit grudgingly by one who instinctively shrinks from being this naked,
that there is a certain surging, nay purging release from confessing ugliness to an unknown, often indifferent and unexpected audience,
in however cryptic a message. hah. the dubious joys of blogging.

one comfort never deserts me.
two actually. solitude. music. my books.
food for my soul, all.
that's three. doesn't matter.
i love my friends, there are some who'd be with me in a heartbeat for this.. but i'd be inclined to laugh this off instead.
often i'm happiest flying solo.
many would find that strange, pitiful. i'm indifferent.

that... affair... shouldn't matter to me either.
by the end of this night, i hope that little chant will properly take root, more's the relief for it.