astrological-apologetic autopsies 2008.

really i just wanted to kick 2008 into the back of my closet as a failed mutant baby we'd ignore, & toss in leftover suppers to & make inventive excuses to the neighbours for all the creepy bashing & moaning sounds for. except for some bits that were too shiny.

like finding faded old glowsticks in most of my bags from night-fishing excursions halfway across the island & prancing indie disco nights & thrash-snake dancing to music that was dark, throbbing, glitchy, deep, intense.
like awesome new, very genuinely-liked friends.
& clinking flutes of sparkling grape juice to a grinning circle of familiar-extreme, grossly adorable, lavishly-loved & cosy-old-gold-boldly-scolding friends. (these adjectives applied to those outside of that circle i heart and all. you know you.)
like kickass insightful conversations i wish i taped down, they were so mindbone-exhausting to be had.

like my eyes getting wider & more starry, the more i see the world. goddamnit, it's too EXCITING!
like boys, secretive adventures & interesting work, ya know?

(Big D was awesome, even its done for now. a tear didn't try to fight it's way out when i was writing my farewell letter, nononononono sirree. & i grew up a little & became more confident, assertive, snake-minded & you know, all that silly CV & Ms Universe crap that's too corny to admit is The Truth.)

like being slapped with an overwhelming consciousness of my moronic noises that i CANNOT SWITCH OFF NOW. thanks ever so much, muhd bedek & !kung bushwoman.

...i'm allowed to go past my usual cheesy threshold today, ok. Tuesdays are half-priced waffles day & "cheapest movie tixs everywhere" day, "no school for 2 semesters running" day & " wheee, blast music & slack because everyone's out at The Clients for meetings" day & my last day of work day & so it's kinda lucky.

most of all,
it's like the solid feeling of having special, awesome persons who kicked my daydreaming ass with a hearty tongue-lashing & cleverly (, exasperatedly) shoved me in all the right directions. essentially, the direction out of the limbo i was digging myself into for much of the year.

they shut me out of the fort so i'd deal with the dragons. they refused to belay me down when i only made a half-arsed attempt on the wall. they cared.

they had my back.

it's all so new to me, & i don't see how i deserved it... but okay loh, free-gift-with-purchase, what idiot would argue? no, really.

2008 would have been just another gross end of a listless kitten without you guys.
thank you pebbles, chillipadilingling, karma princess, bugs, kaelle, jaetty, banana, din. some of you shot my faltering ego dizzyhigh, some of you slapped good sense into me, others calmly weathered psychotic fits without ever asking why, but you guys were a team and you never knew it. most of you don't read this though, so er..
PSYCH! :D



2008, your ass so divine, but your face is bashed in.
defooonitely better seein' ya goin' nuh comin'!
2009, hey? BRING IT ON BITCH!!